The Fear of Dormancy

What if you need a ticket to get in the final show? Or the creator’s a superhero, and you can’t get saved unless you cry out in distress? There’s so much groveling I’ve learned to suppress. Fingers skip hot lava on tiny black stones, and I’m not sure they’ll make it out before the stone wall is closed. I’m a vase walking around without a bouquet. The fear of emptiness and mediocrity. Yes, there are too many ways to not escape. On dry days, I’m terrified of my own company, convinced that the bulbs I’ve planted may never grow.

The bulb of self-doubt

planted in the off-season;

fear is flowering.

© khartless 2021, All Rights Reserved

Photo free on Wallpaper Flare

Frank is host for d’Verse’s Hiabun Monday and the topic is fear. Join us in sharing a haibun poem inspired by fear.

33 Comments

  1. The haiku was beautiful, but the final lines of your prosery is what really struck me: On dry days, I’m terrified of my own company, convinced that the bulbs I’ve planted may never grow.

    Ugh, I am envious of such beautiful writing. Splendid.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I think it goes further than that. I felt the anguish, and that line of not being saved unless crying in distress stayed with me..my comment was a bit bland, but that’s coz I related too uncomfortably with what was being said!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, the fear of inadequacy and nothingness is palpable in this haibun. I especially love these lines: “Fingers skip hot lava on tiny black stones, and I’m not sure they’ll make it out before the stone wall is closed. / I’m a vase walking around without a bouquet.”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Powerful imagery. And so relatable! I love your comment too (to msjadeli) that trying to fill the vase with beauty every day is exhausting. The haiku is exquisite. And like the first commenter, I love the last line of your prosery.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. The fear of what ifs stalks us all doesn’t it and I love the images you’ve given us to illustrate yours. Wonderfully expressed K.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Many thanks. For me, it’s difficult to gauge when I should push myself and when I should give myself a break. I think for me it has always been the forging of my own path through the thickest brush I can find. View’s good on the other side, though. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautifully expressed, K. This line especially poignant: “There’s so much groveling I’ve learned to suppress”, hinting at how past vulnerability has perhaps accomplished little except chip away at self-worth. Only the charmed few can’t identify.
    pax,
    dora

    Like

    1. Thank you very much. These haibun topics always seem to send me reeling, in a good way. I appreciate you reading and commenting. There were so many great ones this time.

      Like

    1. Thank you kindly, Björn. I am grateful for the wide arms of the dVersians and how this group embraces the many different voices and styles of their poets. Affirmation feels good. 🙂

      Like

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