The synchronized push-back of chairs reminds me of nails on a chalkboard. The decision’s been made, the paperwork signed, so the adults clear their throats, straighten their ties, and smooth their skirts.
My daughter’s legs dangle from her swivel seat as she sways, finishing the final strokes of the mane of a unicorn with a pink crayon. She’s humming, and nervously chewing on her own wavy strands. I push her hair back from her face, but she is intent on finishing.
“Hold on, almost got it.” This is what she’s been saying lately.
I try to hold on, but I want a study guide for the exam called parenting. I imagine bubble wrapping my daughter for her first day.
“This is for the best,” says the principal, but there are no bell curves for our choices. Parenthood feels like a series of poorly worded multiple choice questions that you hope culminate in the passing score of an adult human being. And I take a step back, give my daughter’s shoulders a squeeze as we prepare for her second first day of first grade.
A tough decision;
first grade feels like forever,
repeat to reach dreams.
© khartless 2021, All Rights Reserved
dVerse’s Haibun Monday heads ‘Back to School.’ Join us in sharing your memories.
Yard Sale of Thoughts 
Heartfelt and eloquent! I like your juxstaposition your child’s serenity with your anxiety. Well done!
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Thank you, Frank. The bliss of childhood, and she also seems super comfortable with being a first grader a second time. It’s nice I can still be the one to worry for her.
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I enjoyed your school comments. They evoked sentimental memories.
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Thank you. It’s fun to see my two get excited about school. Reminds me that learning is the biggest adventure of all. 🙂
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I’m with Frank; the dichotomy of feelings is palpable Well done. I’m sooo glad I’ve never had to face the (oh, so many) parenthood no-man’s-lands.
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Thank you Ron. How did you manage that one? Do share as we are always seeing new potholes here 😉 Seriously the most complicated job in existence.
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“Parenthood feels like a series of poorly worded multiple choice questions that you hope culminate in the passing score of an adult human being.” – this is such a great line
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Thank you, kindly. It feels true, and since I get to take the test twice, I wonder if I should change answers for the second one. Then, there’s the worry will I score higher or lower?
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I really like this, especially, “I try to hold on, but I want a study guide for the exam called parenting. I imagine bubble wrapping my daughter for her first day.”
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Thank you very much. Lots of teacher talk coming out of me in this one.
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a terrific opening to an enjoyable read; I’m sure she’ll be all right or is it alright? She has a caring mum:)
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Thanks, John. Yes, she is doing well. Thanks for asking. Crossing the Atlantic made this easier for her, and I’m grateful for the extra year with my extra creative girl.
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Well written K. For me, the prompt just triggered the current upset and disbelief I am unable to shake.
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Yes, I understand. I’m grateful the children are both in school right now, but it seems all on the verge of unravelling again. Thanks for commenting. I still need to finish reading all of these school-day quadrille’s as I had an early night.
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This is exactly how it happened when my firstborn started school! (And now she is joining college) A very visceral haibun. ❤️ Thankfully parenting has no rigid right or wrong answers.
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Oh, that’s wonderful news about the answers. Does that mean I can stop studying? 😉 Thank you very much, P. for connecting with the piece and sharing your daughter’s joyful journey. Cheers me greatly.
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Ironically, the lessons of parenting continue lifelong! 😄
My pleasure, K. I am glad it cheered you.
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This brought back so many lovely memories. Thank you! 🙂
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Oh, fabulous, Hobbo; you will have to share.
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👀
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Wow – this is it exactly, KH ❤
-David
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Thank you, David. I ran with the school motif. Here’s to a year of new normalcy for our children as well as our planet.
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Being a parent is the most exhilarating and scary time. I remember chalk on a chalk board, but children of today will never know that sound, but will have their own.
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Yes, how perceptive. Possibly they will remember the whirr of their fidget spinners or the sound of the smart board booting up or the sound of software loading. You’re right. Their experiences will be so different. Thank you very much for connecting.
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It’s a lot of trust we put on the teachers… but can we trust ourselves?
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Thanks for this comment. Yes, I believe so. I trust my instincts more and more. It’s been hard letting go of logic and relying on something much more powerful, but there is no substitute for intuition.
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“Parenthood feels like a series of poorly worded multiple choice questions that you hope culminate in the passing score of an adult human being.”
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Parenting is by far the best job in the world. You’re allowed to listen with your heart and relive your own childhood with your little ones.
You might feel that you’re so busy now. Yes you are! But when you look at this time in hindsight you’ll recognize it as the best of best times ever. And you’ll cry because it’ll feel so short lived.
Oh my. Please enjoy this. Promise!
Don’t worry so much about keeping a tidy house. You’ll have PLENTY of time later to do that. Right now let the good times roll. Oh yes.
Loved your post. Enormously. Heartfelt.
Enjoy Parenthood. The best job in the world. ((You’ll understand this years later)) glad I read 💕
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Thank you, Selma. Enjoying each snuggle, I can tell you. I try to fill their love meter, and they fill mine. Best job ever.
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