Story Time Sunday #4

Happy Story Time Sunday! Today, I’m sharing a humorous Sci-Fi flash fiction that I wrote this past year for Daily Science Fiction’s all-call for humorous short pieces. Enjoy!

Waiting for the Flush

When the creatures appeared, I tried to keep positive thoughts alive in my mind. Maybe they won’t kill us, eat us or dissect us. Sure, they were ten times our size with hairy heads the size of billboards, but without question they would appreciate our unique ways, our intellect, our creativity.

Then, I remembered the night before. I was sitting on the toilet near midnight when an unidentified creature walked out from behind the toilet paper holder, miniature foreign appendages sprawled on white ceramic tiles.

Before I counted his legs or checked his markings, a spare roll went up in the air and slammed down on his head. One, two, three blows as he desperately tried to tap dance out of my way.

When he collapsed, I breathed again, only to be startled a moment later when he sprung to life, perhaps playing dead, and briefly scurried towards me. I immediately began more toilet paper torture, this time three hard thwacks that severed his head from his body. 

I scooped his carcass up and flushed him with my waste. It took a few minutes before the womb-like internal thumps of adrenaline subsided, and I could return to bed. 

Yep, I thought, pulling down the blind of the bathroom to reveal a partial-view, obscured under a monstrous appendage. Arm or leg irrelevant, as I realized, we’re all in the toilet now.


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