Fascination—Journal #1

I’m all in, friends! Today, I start a six-month novel writing course with Urban Retreat. I’m very excited to take the plunge and commit to this process.

I found my novel, Fascination, ten years ago while reading Walter Freeman’s biography, The Lobotomist . Freeman pioneered lobotomies in the United States in an attempt to rid the world of mental illness. The biographer shares the intimate fact that Freeman would often hum the song Fascination by Jane Morgan while performing his ice-pick lobotomies, hospital-to-hospital and then privately from state-to-state. It’s estimated that around 50,000 people in the United States received this crude procedure, although the stories of their suffering, deaths, and disablement still remains mostly untold. My novel hopes to not only shine a spotlight on this hidden holocaust but also to tell a story of new hope.

The novel is a dystopian with undertones of horror, science-fiction, and romance. The main character is partially inspired by my late aunt who suffered greatly in mental hospitals during the 50’s, 60’s, and 70s. Her life struggles are one of my main inspirations for this novel.

I have carried this novel around heavily these past ten years. Researched on and off, written chapters, but generally just felt that life was too busy with relationships, babies, students and social commitments to seriously pen.

Today, I’m committing myself to complete this project by August. I welcome any advice or support you can give along the way. I’ve never completed a project of this size before, so right now it feels like a hike over an unknown mountain without a map, but I’m hoping blogging about it a bit will help me find my stride.

I know when these stories are off my shoulders and alive on the page, regardless of the outcome of the novel’s success, that I will feel a huge relief. That this intricate story that I have been compelled to write for a decade will finally be told, with as much grace and justice as I can give it.

I’m linking below the song that inspired my novel’s title. The novel is about our fascination with mental illness, even though most of us remain scared of it. The novel is also about our fascination and lack of appreciation of the human brain, and lastly, the novel will attempt to tackle our collective fascination with the laws of attraction.

Thank you for indulging me in sharing my process and for all of your support along the way!

Fascination by Jane Morgan

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